Sir John Barrow told me the earth’s poles keep eating men on his polar expeditions so I asked how many polar expeditions he has and he said he just funds a new one afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding men to the earth’s poles and then the british admiralty started crying
Cruel Universe (Vol. 2) #6 by Corinna Bechko, Maria Ingrande Mora, Greg Pak, Sebastian Cabrol, Fabiana Mascolo and Kelly Williams. Cover by Mike Huddleston. Variant covers by (2) Tom Fowler and (3) Albert Monteys. Out in January 2026.
“You’ve just landed on a barren, alien world… cold, remote, and devoid of any signs of life… except for the ominous, throbbing hum from the planetary core that drills a message straight into the synapses of your human nervous system: THE NEW ISSUE OF CRUEL UNIVERSE IS HERE! SURRENDER YOURSELF! OR BE ATOMIZED!
In this galaxy or the next, you’d be a fool to miss EC Comics’ Eisner- and Ringo Award–nominated sensation as it hurtles forward with all-new tales of twisted science and terrifying tech! Join writers Corinna Bechko (EC’s Blood Type), Maria Ingrande Mora (Ranger Academy), and Greg Pak (Ronin Island) alongside artists Sebastian Cabrol (The Seasons Have Teeth), Fabiana Mascolo (Catwoman), and Kelly Williams (The Dead and the Damned) as they rewire the strands of EC’s immortal DNA into a new kind of inhuman monstrosity!”
Looking visibly flushed as he hurried across the gymnasium floor, local teacher Greg Tollefson reportedly hoped that everyone helping to clean up after Thursday morning’s assembly at Mangrove Hills High School would notice how many folding chairs he was carrying at once.
Citing that a majority of Americans are irresponsible, easily distracted people who have little regard for other human beings, a new Department of Transportation report revealed Wednesday that it’s “actually kind of crazy” that U.S. citizens are allowed to drive automobiles. “Americans make millions of mind-boggling, idiotic mistakes every day, and when taking into consideration the sheer amount of lives that could be lost due to just the slightest human error while driving, it’s actually pretty goddamn shocking that we let citizens operate 4,000-pound machines capable of going 200 mph,” the report read in part, later adding that if one truly thinks about who their neighbors, friends, and children are as people, the absolute last thing one would be comfortable with would be them merging onto a busy highway with cars traveling 85 mph.
if tumblr ever officially lifts the nsfw ban i’m gonna start commenting “we have got to get objectum porn back on this website” on posts about conventional sex
