When that motherfucker finally dies (and it will be soon, I feel it in my bones) I don’t want ANYBODY saying shit about “okay but y’all realize we gotta deal with V*nce as president now, right-” FOR AT LEAST 48 HOURS POST MORTEM.
We get to celebrate this. We get to celebrate the death of a monster. Give us a weekend to have our parties before we get back to the severity of our fuck ass government.
In its detailed analysis of how your corpse will appear when lying on a brightly lit postmortem examination table, a report published Friday by researchers in the University of Minnesota’s mortuary science program concluded that your naked body will make the entire morgue laugh. “According to our projections, the mortician, an assistant, and anyone else who happens to walk in and catch sight of your unclothed remains will immediately burst into uncontrollable laughter at both the size and shape of your various body parts,” said lead researcher Rachel Stein, adding that your abdomen, genitals, and buttocks, along with any tattoos you may have, will become inside jokes at the funeral home, hospital, or medical examiner’s office where your dead body will lie exposed for several hours.
