NEW FISH JUST DROPPED

kedreeva:

thriceandonce:

marlinspirkhall:

jackofacetrades:

ospreyonthemoon:

ospreyonthemoon:

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024:

ninjakittenarmy:

cannibalcaprine-deactivated2024:

nwmo:

I KNOW that playing God is morally wrong, but holy HELL, it looks fun.

Why is it playing God? We aren’t violating any natural laws. God set the parameters of the universe to allow these things. There’s nothing wrong with it, there’s no hubris in learning more about how to manipulate the universe around us.

We made a whole-ass fish.

The reason this was accidental BTW is because they used paddlefish eggs as a negative control group for a breeding experiment on sturgeons because the scientists, quite naturally, assumed that they were SO unrelated it would be genetically impossible for them to mate. Like. I cannot stress enough to you how these creatures last related ancestors were

140 MILLION YEARS BACK.

If you don’t know how far that is, that’s basically the start of the cretaceous. Let me simplify that for you even further. Chimpanzees and humans seperated, what, 5 or 6 million years ago?

This is basically like if humans could hybridise with THESE THINGS.

This is the sort of thing that should be impossible. They used those eggs to be ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.

And then THEY GOT FISH OUT OF IT.

Like. You can quite clearly understand why they didn’t think anything would happen. WE ARE MORE RELATED TO BLUE WHALES THAN THESE THINGS.

THE AMERICAN PADDLEFISH AND THE STURGEON ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRELATED THAT THIS IS NOT PLAYING GOD. IF ANYTHING THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD.

THE SCIENTISTS HAD NO BLAME IN THIS BECAUSE NOTHING LIKE THIS HAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE

It sort of goes against the rules of genetics a bit.

Oh i forgot to add

THESE THINGS, FOR HYBRIDS, HAD A REALLY HIGH SURVIVAL RATING. LIKE 70% OF THEM SURVIVED.

To put that into perspective, getting a blue whale and a squirrel and trying to hybridise them is more sensible, and that wouldn’t produce anything but getting you banned from science. Most animals that aren’t plants can barely hybridise two degrees away from each other.

BUT THESE TWO ENTIRELY UNRELATED FISH create PERFECTLY HEALTHY HYBRIDS.

the scientists literally had to do the tests AGAIN just to be like “okay this is real right. This is actually like, not a fluke, this works right” and it worked again. They just Can!

So for those who don’t know what the original fishes look like, this is an American Paddlefish:

And this is a Russian Sturgeon:

So honestly, saying the hybrid is “weird looking” is a bit fort de café when you see its parents. I think the sturddlefish looks cute.

“these creatures last related ancestors were 140 million years back”

(glances at fish)

Yeah that’s exactly what I thought you’d look like, you Mesozoic fuck

#Holding a red squirrel in my left hand and a blue whale in my right desperately hoping to make a purple squale (via @dykepuffs)

placental mammals (eutheria) diverged from marsupials around 100 million years ago. whales and squirrels (rodents at least), being both placental animals, would have diverged at or after that time, meaning sturgeon and paddlefish still have 40 million years more separation.

before the sturddlefish, a purple squale would have seemed more likely- and since that’s ridiculous and obviously no one would think that’s possible except as a joke, that should speak to HOW impossible this situation seemed, and why they thought obviously this will be perfectly fine. If you took squirrel eggs (the gamete) and tried to use whale sperm to fertilize them, you could reasonably expect that to not work. That should be a good control. The eggs would definitely not actually be fertilized, and even if sperm somehow made it into the egg and some kind of development started, you would expect them to not make it to term and definitely not make a whole ass new animal that’s perfectly fine actually.

And yet there is a purple squale in your fish tank, in fact there’s like 100 of them and everyone is saying you played god but this was not what should have gone down, this was never the plan. This isn’t you playing god, you think, this is god having a laugh at your expense.

There’s some serious penis fuckery going on in the ski jumping world

cheddar-baby:

betazeds:

moose-mousse:

shamebats:

shamebats:

shamebats:

shamebats:

There’s some serious penis fuckery going on in the ski jumping world

They’re calling it penisgate/crotchgate…

Archive link: https://archive.is/dwVgu

Fun, insane, sourced!

This is a fucking beautiful piece of internet right there!

The visual of athlete after athlete walking in with giant saline balls and the suit measuring guy has to just sigh and pull out the fabric tape.