Making repeated claims this week that he could really use a break from being around people, local copywriter Jonathan Maynard has, by all accounts, somehow come to the conclusion that he does not have enough alone time in his life. “I wish I could carve out a little extra time during the day that’s just for me,” said the 28-year-old, who, despite having few serious demands on his schedule and regularly spending his evenings and entire weekends alone either browsing online or watching television, openly wishes for more time by himself.
getting older is all about getting weirder and sexier and more perverted and gluttonous and intelligent and blunt and eloquent and spontaneous and skilled. i love that for us.
In an effort that was intended to be subtle but was clearly targeted, local cat Arlo reportedly followed pet owner Joshua Rice around his apartment Friday like a racist Walgreens employee making sure a customer wasn’t going to steal anything. “That asshole thinks he’s being discreet, but I can see him staring at me as though I just pocketed an $8 deodorant,” Rice said of the 3-year-old cat, who trailed him through the kitchen, hallway, and bathroom, peeking around corners so as not to let the man out of his sight for one minute.
