Category Archives: Tumblr

teaboot:

jackpotpie:

What if water didn’t have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

you’ve taught me to count blessings I didn’t know were mine

brilandsupperclub:

twofivee:

sometimes u gotta be like “ okay ” & leave that shit alone

vermilllionsands:

Richard Clifton-Day

frustratedasatruar:

forbidden-sorcery:

Fuck laws

Become Ungovernable.

theanishimori:

thedaft1:

thecheshirecass:

shotfromguns:

everydayconman:

hollowedskin:

fatsexybitch:

coffeeandstring:

verbalvomits:

I threw a dog on the ground today ????????????

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

some friends of mine have the most un-cat-ish cat i have ever met

my quintessential example of this:

i was holding him in my arms petting him while we were picking out what games to play that night. when we’d decided on a few, i needed to put the cat down in order to, you know, carry boxes. so i started letting him down, expecting that he’d eventually do the cat hop thing… but he never did.

i ended up lowering him all the way to the floor. and even then he never got his feet under him. i just sort of… plopped him down on his side as he stared up at me like a betrayed sack of flour.

I saw this so clearly in my mind and I’m never going to stop laughing at betrayed sack of flour.

Miette’s long lost brother, the betrayed sack of flour

adeptarcanist:

i-may-be-an-emu:

estel-and-agape:

aquato-blog:

getting a note on a super old post

reblog to slap op with some paper in the wind

Ehhhh, once it’s happened once or twice, it won’t be surprising anymore.

What you *really* want to do to get them, is let it lie fallow, but schedule a post to reblog it again in another 10 years. Now THAT’ll be a slap with some paper in the wind!

butyoutoldmeiwasfunny:

vampireapologist-archive-deacti:

princessofkazakhstan-deactivate:

the little feet sticking out at the back is really making this a spiritual experience.

yeah-thats-probably-it:

ALT

I’ve always been very fond of this passage in Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit where Bertie is EXTREMELY OFFENDED at the suggestion that he would ever kiss an unconscious person, even while she’s implying that she wouldn’t have minded.

Bonus:

ALT